Ah, Scott, you have finally roused me to comment on
Memnon (I won’t say review it because I'm not very good at reviews – too many personal observations, methinks).
I truly enjoyed your novel, although I think that readers less knowledgeable about Alexander may gain even more pleasure from it. I.e., when the reader is aware already of Barsine and her importance in Memnon’s life it's hard to establish an air of mystery around her character when first introduced. That's not meant to be a critical statement though – just an observation on the difficulties of writing historical fiction.
As for the story itself … well, you brought tears to my eyes more than once, the first time being when Memnon was still in Rhodes. (Don't want to give too much away here.) And I found your first-person description of Memnon's initial infantry battle to be most memorable and enthralling – I walked with him; fought with him;
believed in him. And afterwards …
A swath of destruction stretched a mile in width and continued on for two, the field of Ares. The War God disdained oxen, preferring to let the yoked power of contending armies harrow his demesne. Into this flayed earth poured the fluids of war, the sweat and blood, the bile and bowel, the coward’s piss and the dying man’s tears, mingling to form a sludge that clung to the ankles of those men left standing. The ground itself heaved and shook with the convulsions of the wounded. Slashed torsos and severed limbs lay on carpets of spilled entrails; hands stained black with blood protruded from the mass, splintered weapons yet clutched in immobile fists. Spear shafts projected at angles, some upright, resembling stakes awaiting a transplanted vine. In places, the bright flash of gold embroidery or the shimmer of rich fabric appeared unreal against the devastation, a mirage borne of dehydration.
As for the brief glimpses of Alexander … well, I didn't find him particularly unlikeable – more an enigma, a cipher – which he would have been, I imagine, to those he opposed in the beginning or those who knew comparatively little of him. The Persians, on the other hand, are perhaps a little
too likeable, especially Memnon's father-in-law. I would have preferred to see more of the nature of the warrior in him, I think, but I do understand the need to create characters that your readers can identify with and admire. Ah, the problems in writing a novel where the protagonist is an enemy of Alexander and then presenting it to a group where Alexander is esteemed!
You did, however, a very convincing job. I suspect, also, that many here will not approve of the “twist” at the end. For myself, I was quite delighted. Nice work.
Jan